Cat Translator Apps? Do They Really Work? Is It Even Possible?

I used to ask myself these questions every time my cat meowed, purred, or gave me that mysterious stare. Could an app really help me understand what my feline friend was trying to say?

I’ll admit it: I’ve held my cat’s face like a furry Hamlet and begged, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Spoiler: She blinked. Slowly. Then licked her butt.

Cat translator apps promised answers. But after testing 14 of them (and being judged by my cat the entire time), here’s the hiss-terical truth.